I could just about cope with leggings making a comeback. There’s a kind of logic when hems rise, and tights aren’t quite thick enough to cope.
But cycling shorts?
No. Cycling shorts were resigned to the tragically large heap of fashion no-nos a long time ago. I’m a girl who likes a bit of retro, even some things which might be considered naff (hello jumpsuits and batwing jumpers). But only GOOD things. Things which are stylish if worn properly and appropriately for an individual. Cycling shorts suit no one. No ONE. Not even Kate Moss. No. No. No. Can I say it any more vehemently? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Cycling shorts make the skinniest of legs look chunky. They cut off at the wrong point. Knees are not the most attractive part of a woman’s body. In fact, they’re right up there with feet for me in the ‘ewww’ stakes. Why would you want everyone staring at your knees?? Bad, bad, bad.
Making them in gold doesn’t make it any better, Topshop. I don’t know of anyone who would watch an MC Hammer video and think to themselves, ‘hmmm, sod the baggy Hammer-pants, I want some cycling shorts and a crop top’. This isn’t irony, it’s torture. I wore them when I was 10, my age being my only excuse. They were ugly then and they’re ugly now.
And I’m saying this because I like you, and I want you to be happy.
Liz Eggleston 
I used to wear scarlet pantaloons when I was performing in the circus.
i really do wear bike shorts under my dresses/skirts sometimes when i’m riding my bike. these would actually be so fun to wear instead of my navy and black shorts.
I’m still allowed to wear black ones to the gym, right?
Hi there-LOL, a trend I won’t be revisiting this time round!!
Ugh. That’s reminded me of a cringeworthy outfit I had in the early 90’s. Black lycra Spanish style corset top with matching black cycling shorts. I thought I was Madonna!
Oh nooo! Shiny leggings are bad enough.What about wearing them under a skirt to avoid flashing your pants? Or should we just get a longer skirt?
Bit of back-peddling here (arf arf)Wendy and Niki, I should have pointed out that wearing cycling shorts for actual cycling or working out is fine. It’s the idea of wearing them walking down the street, or out to a bar, which makes me shudder.Any other time and I *will* start shouting ‘nooooooooo’ and run over to cover you up (imagine this all in slow motion) in the street.
Retro Chick: interesting point. I would say that flashing a pair of cycling shorts is worse than flashing your knickers. Just invest in some nice pants if you’re going to wear a skirt which flies or rides up. At least then people will go ‘corrrrrrrr’ rather than ‘huh? is she wearing cycling shorts? bwahahahahaha’. KWIM? 😉
eeek no!
EEEEEEEEEEEK!! I wouldn’t be caught dead in those!
Those are hideous. *But* I remember being very taken with the cycling-shorts and short-skirt combo back in the day. Because it allowed me to play out in excruciatingly short rara skirts. Not that anything like the embarrasment of showing my knickers actually put me off wearing short skirts. Ever. But you know what I mean. I distinctly recall some white non-shiny cycling shorts and a white skirt patterned with pink roses. I’d wear that again if I could have it in my size.And I used to like the black ones with the neon stripes down the sides teamed with a black skirt with neon splatter print and different coloured neon socks. And black jazz shoes. Not sure if I’d wear that now though because its deffinatelyu something for an nine year old, not a twenty nine year old! But I might be tempted to wear it to aerobics if I still did that sort of thing. Whatever happened to aerobics classes anyway, were they all destroyed by silly pilates and gymns?Am already freaked out by grown women who are wearing leggings with tops that don’t go down as far as their thighs though. It’s just wrong. Leggings are practically tights! I did wear leggings when they were in to *excess* because I’ve always loved tightly fitted clothing, but everyone was wearing them and I only wore patterned ones. I deeply loved my striped ones. I’m not wearing leggings again though. I now believe leggings were invented for women who a) haven’t shaved their legsb) don’t have very good legs.
oh dear – i too succumbed to the 80’s cycling shorts trend and i do believe i wore them with leotards!! which i’m sure you can imagine was an awesome sight!! my friend’s mother still wears them to this day.. i don’t know if its an ironic nod to her youth or just cos nothing else fits!!??
Ha!!!! I love this post!