I really want to see these sell, and sell well, because the temptation is unbearable. I’m a girl who loves high waisted flares, and I love the idea of vividly printed trousers in a reverse of my normal statement top-half. And these are a Celia print Ossie, there’s no more delicious statement than that. They’re the kind of Ossie Topshop are unlikely to bastardise with their Celia collaboration (I’m not sure even the uber trendy Daisy Lowe-lookalikes who shop there are ready for these babies).

So why don’t I buy them? They’re my exact size, even down to the inside leg (yes, I want to cry!) Well lack of funds for one thing, but on a point of principle I shouldn’t buy another vividly printed pair of crepe high waister flares until I’ve worn my existing pair. Which aren’t Ossie but they are a rare Fulham Road (Sylvia Ayton and Zandra Rhodes for the uninitiated) pair in Zandra’s early, and legendary, lipstick print. I’ve been itching to wear them for ages but they’re white, and they’re tight……so they still await a perfect opportunity, and one where I’m unlikely to spill things down them.

I also have a tendency to bust zips on Ossie trousers and skirts; most recently in Liverpool when I realised that Tapas and ultra tight corset satin trousers with old metal zips do NOT mix well. [Probably as well they broke before I left the hotel, otherwise the excitement of seeing Duran Duran may well have made them pop while I was at the gig.]. So another skintight pair of Ossie kecks may well go the same way, unless I refuse to eat for 48 hours before wearing them, and that would be either cruelty to vintage or my stomach.

So pleaaaaase, someone else buy them, wear them, send me photos and enjoy them so I can enjoy them vicariously and feel so envious that I eventually just CREATE an event to which I can wear my Fulham Road pair!

Right: Quick and rubbish photo of the Fulham Road ones…[Odette is having a day off – plus the lighting is shocking today!]…what you can’t see are the red ties which tie around the back. They came from the same lady as the chiffon top and trouser Ossie set you can see on my website, but those trousers don’t fit me at all. Darnit!!!