In summary:-

Duran Duran have still got ‘it’.

I do not like N.E.R.D. Or their fans.

Duran Duran can control the weather with their music. Hold Back The Rain actually did the trick both times. They are Gods.

When you are being nearly crushed to death, keeping your shoes on becomes disproportionately important.

If you stand in the middle of a swelling crowd of festival-type people whilst wearing a Sixties dress and shout at them, in a posh accent, for being stupid then people will look at you a bit funny. It’s inevitable.

Nick Rhodes owes me the amazing vintage Adam Ant badge I lost in the mêlée. It’s his fault we were in a crowd of idiots. He said this was a festival which ladies could wear nice shoes to, because it was in a park. Real world, meet Nick. Nick, meet the real world.

"Oh, so THAT'S the real world over yonder is it? Oh dear..."

Contrary to some reviews, a 50-year-old man shouting ‘freebase’ and gyrating on stage is not sad…it’s delightful and endearing. Well, when it’s Simon Le Bon anyway.

My girls may have been getting more excited about Simon’s top hat [and, later on, tuxedo] and Nick’s cravat and cane, but John Taylor is an expert at doing a Miss Peelpants-orientated strip tease. Sharp suit. Jacket off, leaving white shirt and waistcoat. Then waistcoat off, leaving slightly crumpled white shirt and braces. Top marks!

Well, I’m now back from my Duran ‘Odyssey’ and I’m almost at a loss to process the weird old week I’ve had. I’ve been all the way up to Edinburgh and back, have seen the boys twice in one week (both times from very near the front by sheer luck and steely determination respectively), have walked into a service station with rollers in my hair, have sat eating pineapple wedges and glace cherries from behind the bar of the Hard Rock Cafe because they were no longer serving food (many thanks to the kindly bar staff), have cursed Nick Rhodes quite a lot (a man like that should understand that open air gigs and nice hair, make-up and clothes DO NOT MIX), nearly drowned attempting to get to Edinburgh Castle in torrential rain, nearly died in an N.E.R.D crowd whilst waiting for the Duran set, have laughed so hard I started bawling (still can’t work out if it was because it was all so funny or utterly horrifying)…oh and I even ate a Pot Noodle. Which is possibly the most alarming aspect to the entire week.

So now I can get back to work, I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear!