Mild Sauce: Illustrated Titillation

1970s, cosmopolitan, Illustrations, mild sauce, underwear, Vintage Adverts

Is it just me, or are drawn sexy images generally sexier than photographed sexy images? Despite the completely ludicrous breast depictions, I’ve got a soft spot for these adverts. All scanned from various copies of Cosmopolitan, 1972-76.

The worrying thing is, women actually pay for breasts like these nowadays.





How to Have Fairy-Tale Hair: Gerry-Jaye Hall

1970s, cosmopolitan, hair, Inspirational Images, jerry hall

 

How to Have Fairy-Tale Hair

 

Ever since Rapunzel let down her hair to give the prince a lift up to her bedroom- you remember the fairy tale ? — long curly hair has been the ambition of most little girls. Lillian and Dorothy Gish, stars of the ‘Twenties, then Brigitte Bardot and Elizabeth Taylor and more currently Marisa Berenson and Petula Clark have kept curly hair in the limelight. What other style is so flattering? Gerry-Jaye Hall right, is the latest in a long line of princesses with fairy-tale hair For how she keeps it that way—and how you can make the most of your hair—read on… 

Once upon a time there was a princess from a far-away country who took Paris by storm. And all on account of her waist—length hair the colour of molten gold. And when the young men of Paris stood under the windows of her Left Bank hotel and cried: “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair”, the princess just laughed and reached for another bottle of mayonnaise which is the magic potion she uses to keep her hair in condition. Yes, it’s a true life story … the princess is Gerry-Jaye Hall, a seventeen year old from Mesquite, a suburb of Dallas, Texas, who measures 36, 24, 36 and, at just under six feet tall, towers over most of the girls and a lot of the men in the bizarre world of Paris fashion.

One of five sisters (she’s a twin), Gerry-Jaye is the only girl who has not inherited the dark hair and brown eyes of her Choctaw Indian princess grandmother. Straight as an arrow she has gone to the top of the modelling tree in Paris where she’s the designers’ favourite, because on Gerry-Jaye a potato sack would look sexy. By day that hair and that body are raking in £100 per day in front of the camera . . . by night Gerry-Jaye is seen around town on the arm of Antonio, the illustrator who makes a speciality of discovering —and drawing—the most beautiful girls who live and work in Paris.

“Antonio helped me discover Paris,” she says in her breathless Texas drawl. “l’d been breaking in wild horses in a Texas rodeo and, well, Paris was a different scene … but now I’m making so much money I can’t wait to take Antonio back to Texas on vacation. My mother wants to fatten us both up. She thinks I’m too skinny. She thinks everybody is too skinny, except my sister who has her boobs fixed—enlarged you know?—she is 36C now and she’s so proud she can hardly bear to put any clothes on.”

Gerry-Jaye adopts some of that Texas pioneering spirit in keeping her mane of hair in good shape. She washes her hair twice a week with egg shampoo, then conditions it with herbal balsam. When her hair feels dry she dollops on a whole bottle of mayonnaise, followed by ten rinses. Beer is a substitute when the corner shop runs out of bottled mayonnaise. She swallows liver pills every day, a habit set by her mother who also has splendid hair. Does that wild head ever tangle? Apparently not. Gerry-Jaye brushes her hair night and morning with a natural bristle brush, starting at the bottom and taking in more length as she goes. Eschewing hair-dressers, she trims the ends every month by a quarter of an inch. Can she go swimming without making her hair into seaweed? She claims that sea water is beneficial and she never wears a cap. To keep her hair shining she squeezes in lemon juice while it’s drying. And the trendy, tendrilly curls? No rags, no curlers, Gerry-Jaye twists up the hair into a mop, shoves in two pins and shakes it out each morning. Just like the princess in the fairy story…

Ladies!! Don’t all rush at once…

1970s, cosmopolitan, harpers and queen, haute naffness

In honour of the general weird horridness of Valentine’s Day when you’re a singleton, here are some superb dating adverts from Harpers and Queen and Cosmopolitan, 1972 and 1975 respectively. Personally, I would stay well away from Peter, theatre or no theatre, and I’d be a bit concerned for my safety down the disco with Bob.

Inspirational Images: Molly Parkin by James Wedge

1970s, cosmopolitan, Inspirational Images, james wedge, molly parkin

The Bump

cosmopolitan, dancing, disco, monty coles, seventies fashion

Any child of the Seventies or Eighties, growing up in the UK, will know who Floella is. To anyone else, I’m going to be lazy and link to the Floella Benjamin wiki page. Very exciting to see her doin’ the bump in Cosmopolitan magazine in March 1975. I dare you all to try out the bump tonight, down your local discotheque or just in the comfort of your own kitchen with your loved one(s).

Photos by Monty Coles.

Mensday: Ian McShane

cosmopolitan, ian mcshane, Mensday, seventies fashion

Mensday isn’t just for the men, you know. Sometimes there’s a little something for the laydeez…

Ian McShane. Cosmopolitan, June 1973. Photo by David Steen.

For Ian McShane, there’s nothing remarkable in being photographed sprawling across a bed. He’s spent much of his career doing just that, but instead of a dachshund, his bedmates have included lovely ladies like Ava Gardner, Raquel Welch, Dyan Cannon and Gayle Hunnicut. And if you take a leisurely tour round that muscular torso and inspect those what-are-you-waiting-for eyes, you’ll understand why he’s picked for all those torrid love parts.

Despite those Latin features, thirty-one year old Ian was born in Blackburn. His father, Harry McShane, played for Manchester United and Ian grew up expecting to be a footballer until somewhere his ambitions changed direction and he went to RADA. Immediately afterwards he was given the lead in a film called The Wild and the Willing and since then his career has advanced steadily if not spectacularly. He’s appeared several times in the West End theatre, acted in, on average, one television play a year and taken major parts in about eight films including Sitting Target, If it’s Tuesday it Must be Belgium and The Last of Sheila, co-starring Raquel Welch and Dyan Cannon, which should be released in the late summer.

His performances have been consistently praised and there’s little doubt that, if he chose, Ian could turn out twice as many films. He admits, however, that he doesn’t like working too much. “The good thing about making a bit of bread is that you can do what you want to. I hate the thought of work for work’s sake.”

Instead, Ian likes to play the dilettante . . . commuting between pub and home, reading, listening to music, playing squash and football. He lives in an elegant Edwardian house in Roehampton, South London, with his wife Ruth, an ex-model from Manchester, their three year old daughter Katie and Nicky, seven, Ruth’s son by a previous marriage. Their two dogs, Morrie, a neurotic dachshund (that’s him preserving discretion in our photograph) and Wolfie, an extrovert, over-sexed mongrel, are regarded as third and fourth children.

Perhaps because his first wife, Susan Farmer, was an actress, Ian displays an almost total disenchantment with the breed. “I don’t like them very much, I don ’t know why they do it. An actor I can understand . . . but an actress is quite a different species. They’re too aware of what they are . . . always discussing how they should do the part, actresses are very full of that.”

He’s still recovering from tussles on location for The Last of Sheila where, according to Ian, the leading ladies were continually jockeying for first place. “It was all right when they were in front of the camera. The problems were about extraneous things like who took the longest , to get their lip gloss on. He describes his first encounter with Dyan Cannon. She, chewing gum, sizing him up quizzically: “What’s your name ‘?” “Ian McShane.” Chew. Chew. “You married‘?” “Yes.” Chew. Chew. “Got any kids ‘?” “‘Yes.” Chew. Chew. “See ya.”

His black list includes Elsa Martinelli (“an Italian spaghetti”), Senta Berger and Virna Lisi who all came in as guest artistes on one of his films and “were terribly blase about their roles. I suppose they had a right to be. But you feel that terrible anger, you think ‘how dare you come on this set for two days messing about’.” Yet, if you accuse Ian of being too hard on women, his wife immediately defends him. “He’s the most easy-going, tolerant man, not even grouchy when he’s out of work.”

He admits he has enjoyed working with some actresses, notably Ava Gardner, “A knockout, totally larger than life”, and Gayle Hunnicutt, “A lovely lady and a very good actress”. As for those passionate love clinches: “They’re very clinical because it’s all worked out beforehand. My most pleasurable ones were with Ava Gardner on Tam Lin—that was a big laugh. But these scenes are always enjoyable. After all it’s just acting.”

Many actors would shudder at that word “just”. But Ian, although he takes his acting seriously enough, has kept a rare sense of propor- tion. His real life—driving his 1957 blue Rolls, taking his wife to gambling clubs (“She plays roulette, I stick to the fruit machines”), or doing nothing in particular at home—takes a high priority.

He’s delighted, though, about his next film. He plays Bramwell in Bramwell Bronte, a part he has wanted for several years. “I have a lot of naive confidence. I always hope that the next one will be the best film, the best people, the nicest wine. It’s very important that you should have a lovely time when you’re working.”

Having a lovely time seems to be a pretty good ambition and it’s nice to talk to an actor who isn ’t all tortured anguish. On screen, Ian McShane can be brutal, arrogant or passionate to order, but look again at that impudent half-smile and you’ll find the humour and animal warmth that make him such a huggable Libran.

Mensday: Bowie and Jagger

cosmopolitan, david bowie, Illustrations, Mensday, mick jagger, terry t. burton

Illustration by Terry T. Burton, from an article titled “The Further Shores of Love” about same-sex attraction.

Scanned from Cosmopolitan, March 1974.

Inspirational Illustrations: How to improve your memory, 1975

cosmopolitan, Illustrations, reynold ruffins

Scanned from Cosmopolitan, September 1975. Illustration by Reynold Ruffins

Inspirational Images: The lady is a vamp

1970s, bill gibb, cosmopolitan, ika hindley, Inspirational Images, richard imrie, twiggy

Photo by Richard Imrie. Cosmopolitan. Cosmo Tells All. July, 1972

Ika Hindley is the twenty-three year old temporarily red-haired model who out-acts Bernhardt or Garbo on the catwalk. Give her a dress and she gives it soul. When wearing Bill Gibb’s vamp dress at his headline-making launch collection, BBC cameramen filmed a three-minute take of Ika doing her number. “I’m hoping it will get me into films. Underneath all this pink paint there’s a frustrated actress,” says Ika who takes voice, dancing and singing lessons. All of which give her catwalk appearance extra oomph. And oomph is what Bill Gibb’s clothes have in plenty. Film star Twiggy and actress Irene Worth are favourite customers of the shy Scottish lad with the special fashion flair.

Mild Sauce: The Ostentatious Orgasm

1970s, cosmopolitan, Illustrations, mild sauce, wendy buttrose

The Ostentatious Orgasm by Wendy Buttrose. Cosmopolitan Magazine, July 1972

Possibly the finest, sexiest illustration I’ve ever encountered. And, just to add to the sheer sauce, the illustrator is called Wendy Buttrose. I can’t help but think of the gorgeous Wendy Brandes and her beloved ‘Ass Flower‘ dress.