This might have to be a ramble, of sorts, around my constantly swirling brain on the subject of blogging and my own identity within the blogging ‘world’. Inevitably, because of mutual interests in the vintage arena and just a general love of clothes, I end up following modern-weighted fashion blogs and vice versa. There are still some very interesting vintage blogs on the go, but more and more I’m noticing them moving into talking about ‘fashion’ rather than their vintage origins.

Sometimes I feel like something of a throwback, or that I might be stuck in a blogging rut because

a) I don’t post pictures of myself in all my gear. Mainly because I hate photos of myself, but also because it’s a degree of intimacy with the unknown readers I’m not quite sure I’m comfortable with yet (especially given that this can crossover into one’s personal life, and makes it easy to stalk someone). It also assumes that anyone is interested in what I’m wearing. I’m very interested in seeing what certain other bloggers wear, but can’t understand any reciprocation.

b) I don’t seem to look at (let alone, shop at) net-a-porter….or any of those types of sites. I’m still determinedly buying vintage and, if I can’t find it vintage, I refuse to pay designer prices for things. Perhaps this might make me ‘inspirational’, except I can’t get over my fear of a) and post photos of myself in my ensembles so no one knows what the hell I’m wearing from day to day.

c) Part of my motivation is still to promote my vintage clothes. And to be geeky about vintage designers and style icons.

Watching The September Issue the other day, I was captivated by Grace Coddington. But then, who wasn’t? I noted with pleasure that she never seemed to use the words ‘trend’ or ‘season’, at least not in relation to her own work. She was just about the creative vision for her editorials and inspired by locations, photographs and beautiful clothes, regardless of who made them. I realised it was important to never lose that aspect of my own personality, although I am no Grace Coddington clearly, despite the lure of ‘fitting in’ by styling my blog in a more bloggy kind of way.

I suppose it’s more of a daily inspiration notepad, than me trying to make any huge statement about fashion or the world. The less I think about fashion, trends, seasons….the more inspired and prolific I am. It’s been a very tough few months for me, personally and professionally. Both knocking into the other and making each side worse. I should be grateful that I have managed to relaunch the site, with instant great response, and that I manage to update my blog almost daily. Even if it is just a picture of some gorgeous lady in a gorgeous dress, from forty-odd years ago.

It comes back to teenage years, I guess. I never fitted in then, I don’t know why sometimes I feel like I ought to be part of the mainstream now. I also find it peculiar how ‘independent’ blogging has become as mainstream as a weekly column in Grazia or wherever. The recent fuss about advertising on blogs, accepting freebies or sponsorship, has been interesting for me. How else are you going to make money by writing, uncommissioned, for yourself? But it also removes the ‘independent’ tag, in one swift movement.

I recently signed up to Project Wonderful, and added an Amazon associates box. I thought long and hard about even signing up for these, because I worried how I would be judged. I suppose I needn’t have worried about any of it, because I don’t think my daily hit rate really warrants either box. Ultimately, my income comes from my vintage site, my dressing work and the occasional illustration commission. A few pence here and there, via advertising, isn’t going to change my life. I don’t know how other people do it. I’m fascinated in an envious and nosy kind of way, and it’s one of those great unmentionables.

I almost wish I could look at other blogs without the inevitable trap of comparison. Just enjoy them for what they are. Perhaps I might have done, once upon a time when I was doing work experience on New Woman magazine and aspiring to be very ‘now’ rather than very ‘forty years ago’. But even that was mainly because I was more ambitious in that direction, and had momentarily lost the plot post-graduation. The pull of independence, pig-headed independence you might say, was always too strong.

Maybe I’ll start experimenting with different blogging styles. Maybe I’ll start posting pictures of myself in some weird attempt to access that exhibitionist part of my psyche, because it must be there somewhere. But ultimately, I don’t think I can change who I am. I am a vintage geek, not a fashion icon. I dress nicely, I think I choose interesting clothes, but that’s just innate. I’m doing it for myself, not for my readers. I love interacting with my readers, and I would be nothing without them, but ultimately my mantra will have to continue to be that I’m doing this blog for myself. If someone else ‘gets it’ and enjoys it, then that’s just perfection.