Peregrine, my love, you make me feel quite naked when you look at me like that. I know my all in one is only a wisp of see-through Lycra, but a girl must have protection from such ardour. Now et out of the bath quickly: my husband may return any minute now.

Sometimes I just can’t help chuckling at the copy in vintage magazines. It’s also a helpful reminder that meaningless guff is not confined to the modern fashion press, but is a speciality of the genre. Although I don’t think most modern fashion writers would write such creative twaddle as this, which I think is another very disappointing aspect of modern life.

Aside from that, I love these photos. I want the flat, I want the lifestyle, I want the half-naked gentleman named Peregrine hanging around…

Peregrine my darling, you’ve made wet footprints all over the Aubusson. Just because you find me irresistible in my virgin-white control garment is no reason to abandon all self-control and respect for the decencies of civilised life. And besides, Edward’s Rolls will draw up before the front door at any second.

Peregrine, my angel, thank you for mopping up the bathwater, but a face towel just isn’t enough to confront the world in. I sppose I do look rather distracting in my near-transparent nude-look body-stocking, but then you, my lamb, are very distractable.

Peregrine, my precious, one kiss and then farewell; if we don’t get dressed soon, I shall be late for the Embassy reception and you will miss your bus. I know how you feel, but you must keep your hands away from my lace-trimmed pantie-girdle, however delectable it looks.

Peregrine, my treasure, you look divine with the light behind you in that ravishing Art Deco shirt, but I don’t think you are being quite serious enough about getting dressed. You are absolutely right of course; I look a work of art in my sexy satin undies, but I don’t plan to get hung by Edward just yet.

Peregrine, my beloved, all is over between us. Do up your shirt and depart. I hear the purr of my husband’s Rolls, and I must grab my mink and fly. Take a tender last look at my lissom loveliness clad in nothing but my slinky satin slip, and pop round and paint my portrait again next week.